COM SPOOF
by Pale Raven
Summary: xD


The Curse Of Maraqua

Chapter 1

Pepper Jack? GNARLY!

_Many years ago in a small fishing village... there lived a young usul named Garin._

Jacques: Haha what kind of stupid name is Garin?

Garin: Shut the hell up.

Jacques: Go on! I'll watch for girls!

_He was known for always getting into trouble,usually urged on by his best friend Jacques._

Garin: HAHA! What kind of name is JACQUES? You French-

Jacques: I get it, Garin. T.T

Weewoos: Wee-wooo! (Translation, haha foolz!)

-SLIP-

Garin: WTH WAS THAT? JACQUES, HELP!

Weewoos: Wee-wooo! (Translation, that was weewoo poo.)

Jacques: Hold on! I need a beer!

_As he hung for life and death, Garin noticed somebody looking up at him. It was a beautiful young sea-aisha. Somehow her gaze gave him the courage to hang on._

Sea-aisha: Don't move or I'll shoot, bizz-atch. What a Little Mermaid knockoff...

Jacques: We're coming! Sorry, these random old men followed me when they figured out I had beer.

_Garin glanced back for one last look at the beautiful creature, and then she was gone._

Sea-aisha: Good luck ya bizz-atch!

_The Aisha had defied King Kelpbeard's strict order never to mix with with the surface dwelling folk._

Sea-aisha: That sucks azz. Now who can I taunt?

_Not long ago, the city had been destroyed by a pirate's curse._

Kelpbeard: I farted. Wwhhooppss, mah bad.

_Kelpbeard, king of the undersea realm saved as many of the maraquans as he could._

Kelpbeard: WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT, BIZZ-NATCHES!

_He returned many times in search of survivors..._

Kelpbeard: MAN, that was a good one.

_...and on one such journey, he found two sisters named Isca and Caylis hiding from looters._

Isca: TAKE HER! SHE'S THE PRETTY ONE!

Caylis: MONEY CAN'T BUY LOVE!

_The King took the sisters to a make-shift refuge where he was gathering survivors of the disaster._

Caylis: WTF! Is this place made out of toilet paper?

_As the sisters grew, Isca began having remarkably vivid dreams where she foresaw things that helped the Maraquans avoid peril. _

Isca: The cellar is empty again.

Kelpbeard: Shiht! Why is the rum always gone?

_The King praised Isca and often called on her for advice in troubling times._

Kelpbeard: What kind of cheese is my hat made out of?

Isca: Tastes like Pepper Jack.

Kelpbeard: Gnarly.

Isca: Duuude.

_Caylis felt neglected as her sister's talent grew and the king continued to favor her._

Caylis: Damn, she's psychic! That foo'in Barbie.

_She began having nightmares of terrible disasters that would always come true._

Caylis: I blame the landfill.

Kid inside house: Mommy, why the hell is poop tumbling down the hill and-

SPLAT

_The Maraquans began to feel that Caylis was causing the calamities._

Kyrie: Why should we like you?

Acara: Yeah, you jinx!

Caylis: Because.. -Flips around, hair swooshing- -model pose- I'M HAWT!

Meecra: She looks different than us...

Acara: And yeah, why are we all naked?

Kyrie: And hairless!

Acara: WITCH!

Caylis: No, you're thinking of a similar and rhyming word, doll.

Acara: -Pulls out pitchfork-

_Eventually the King had to send Caylis into exile to protect his people._

Kelpbeard: TO THE MEN'S CLUB, BIZZ-NATCH!

Caylis: Aw shiht.

Isca: ARE YOU WEARING TAELIA'S COAT!

Kelpbeard: Shut the hell up or I will be wearing your hair.

Taelia: -Floats by-

Isca: CENSORE THAT! CENSORE THAT!

-Comic editors have edited the footage-

Isca: Phew. DAMN that was ugly.

_Nothing has been seen of her since, but sometimes when the sea is quiet you can hear her mournful sobbing from far away._

Caylis: I WANT MY PAYCHECK ALREADY! Damn this job. Doesn't pay for shiht.

_In secret, the Maraquans began building a new city where they could be safe from outsiders..._

_This new city was conviently stocked with disco balls that magically hung from the surface and ski lifts!_

Kelpbeard: THIS IS THE FRIGGIN FO' SHIZZLE!

_But Isca's vivid dreams still came to her, and often they included the face of the young usul._

_... and so our story begins_

Isca: Damnit, what smells?

Garin Ghost: Uggh, what is that smell?

Kelpbeard: Damn, we need some fresheners! My smell hasn't gone away yet! Whooties, that was a good one! Heh heh..

-The Little Mermaid swims by, singing and naked-

Ariel: Under the sea,

Isca: CENSORE THAT! CENSORE THAT!

-This has also been edited-


End file.
